D is for Dan

 And dust. Which has now settled. The hilariously bizarre week, in which I saw my name in over 7 different National press articles (truth) has been, and gone. For the first, and I imagine only time in my life – I went viral. Or should I say, Dan went viral. I thought it best that … More D is for Dan

The next chapter

  Technically, as I type this, I am unemployed. FUCK. Was I sacked? Nope. Did I get made redundant? Negative. I resigned. Shit. First things first, this wasn’t because I didn’t like my job – OR that my job was shit. No – I loved what I did (Ok, let’s be realistic and frank – … More The next chapter

Be more Jo

  Jo and I met at Mrs Bushells nursery, when we were 2. Jo was sporting an unruly corkscrewed mane (which would later bequeath her the nickname “whatamess” – kids are bastards) and I was donning what would now be on-trend heavy blunt bangs, alongside some infantile tub (which would later bestow me the nickname … More Be more Jo

My name is Lorna…

  And I am a social media addict. “Oh for god sake, here we go again!” I hear you cry – first Anxiety, then OCD and now addiction, what’s bloody next! But alas, it is true my friends. My addiction to social media has been in steadfast flow for approximately ten years. It kicked off … More My name is Lorna…

White Flag

First things first – picture me writing this hiding behind a cushion. Large vino in hand. Perspiring. Let me explain. This post isn’t something I’ve been looking forward to writing down for all to see. It feels more than a little awkward. I know that some people (who I really rather wouldn’t) will potentially read this and I am more … More White Flag

A winter wormer

Whilst we are knee deep in winter and the lead up to Christmas – I am in the throes of worms. Not me personally. Nope, so far I have managed 35 years on this planet without those offensive, miniscule, vile vermin crawling around my asshole, but sadly our eldest daughter became their latest casualty. Never … More A winter wormer